Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Dear Bug

Dear Bug,

I suppose at some point you are going to find this blog on the internet. Today I dropped you off at daycare for the second time in your life. You have now spent a total of 4 hours away from me, other than times you've been with family or while a baby sitter watched you as you slept. It is hard. I'm sure it is harder on me than it is on you, but it was hard.

For two hours you screamed. It breaks my heart that you think I left you. I will never leave you. Know that you are my favorite thing, the love of my life and my heart now rests within your tiny chest. I will never leave you and if I do, a part of me will always stay with you. I promise that.

You are such an amazing guy, and I love you more than any words can ever begin to describe. Before you were born I'd hear parents talk about how much they loved their kids and I didn't get it. You'll never get it either, until one day a nurse hands you a blanket with a tiny bundle of love in it. Your heart will fill with so much love, and somehow, someway, you will love them more every second. You do such fun things that make me laugh so hard. You are an amazing little guy and we are so lucky to have you in our lives. I am so blessed.

Daycare is hard. It makes me feel so guilty to go back to work. You love other kids so much and you seem to get so bored at home that I thought this was a good idea. I hope this is a good idea. I hope that in a few months I'll come back and read this blog and think, "Oh yeah, he hated that, I forgot." I hope this is a good decision.

I realize that as I write about daycare, that soon it will be kindergarten, (blink) middle school, (blink) high school, (blink) college and so on. Time stops for no one, even for over protective mommas.

I love you, and I'll always come back for you.