Deep Thoughts - Text from God #TBT

I don't often write about God. Actually, this is a first. It might be because I'm not the most religious person. If I write about God, people would debate me, and I hate debates, and don't want to get into it. I don't go to church very often (much to my mother's dismay.) When we were in Seattle, I just never thought about it. Now that we have Bug, I want to take him to church, but it is right in the middle of nap time and the things I would be thinking during his meltdown wouldn't help me much. I swear like a sailor, but try to be a good person. I hope those offset each other.

I have a story that I have never told anyone. Ever. I think about it often, and decided to just write it down. I figured it's perfect for #TBT. At the end of this post you'll either think "Wow, she's crazy," or just "Wow."

Two years ago, before Bug was even a thought, I was having a crappy week. A really bad week. My horse was being retired, and being a pain in the butt at the rehab barn she was staying. I was having a really stressful week at work. Nothing was going right. You know the feeling.

I was leaving the barn where I worked. Usually that made me feel better, but something stressed me out. I don't remember what it was, but it was the icing on the cake. A friend and I were suppose to meet to for lunch, and she had to cancel. I decided to drive out to the rehab barn to see Denali and just sit.

Since I had no plans, I decided to text another friend to just say "hi." I often use voice text. I found her number and hit the little microphone and said, "Hi, hope all is well." I waited while my phone thought and I looked at the message before I sent it.

It said, "You know that I'm always here for you, I love you -God"

No shit, right hand up to...well, you know. At first I laughed at my phone and thought, "Oh how funny, you thought I said that!?" I decided to do it again, and repeated, "Hi, hope all is well." I waited while my phone was thinking, giggling to myself." I looked down and it said, "Hi, hope all is well." I did it a few more times, and got the same response each time.

I really wish I was able to take a screen shot, but no one would believe me anyway. I liketo think that things happen for a reason. My mother use to tell me that all the time, and I hated it, but she's right (like always.) I did get the text for a reason. It made me smile, and breath. So, does God have a cell phone? Was someone at Verizon being funny? Was I literally getting a message from God?

County Prison Tutoring #TBT

When I was a Junior in college I signed up for a class that seemed easy. I got three credits, and a grant paid for them, for tutoring inmates at the county jail. A friend of mine signed up to do this, and went to the prison for our first day.

The Warden took his job very seriously. You would have thought that I was there to sneak a man out in my bag. He went over what we were allowed to talk about and not talk about. When we walked back to the library (where we were tutoring) there were cells on both sides of the hallway. Keep in mind that this was a male prison...I'm 21....and probably the first girl they've seen in months. Talk about feeling loved (kidding.)

We went into the room and got out our supplies. We were going to help the guys get their GED. The guards told us not to put up with any crap, and they were across the hall. It went well. The guys were nice and told hilarious stories. We went every Monday for weeks. During that time the guys all told me what they had done to be in the jail. Most of them had done some form of burglary. One guy, we'll call him Big Ed, would not tell me what he did. I didn't press it.

A few more weeks, and my friend was sick. A few of the other guys were on lock down for mouthing off to the guards, so there was just Big Ed and me. We were working on some basic multiplication when he said, "I guess you really want to know, hu." I was confused as to what he was talking about. I thought he meant the answer to the math problem.

Me: "Hu?"

Big Ed: "What I did to get in here."

Me: "Only if you want to tell me."

Big Ed went on to tell me how he was at a bar drinking and ran out of money. He decided it was a good life choice to go in his truck to the nearest ATM. When he got there, he realized he did not have his card to get money out, but he did have a large chain. He took the chain and wrapped it around the machine and drove off with it.

Me: (Holding back tears from biting my cheeks to keep from laughing.) "Oh."

Big Ed: "That's why you don't drink beer out of pitchers."

Straw and Wine - Throwback Thursday

My life isn't "that" exciting, but yet, I still write.... (Sorry about that.)

There are so many stories that I tell people after the fact. Some are embarrassing, some are sad, some make you think what the !@#$. I will classify this one under embarrassing. I'll use Thursdays to tell random old stories...aren't YOU excited! Unless of course Bug does something EXTRA adorable. That trumps any crazy story I may have.

First let me start with that I have amazing friends. AMAZING. We go away a few times a year to  Girl's Weekend and what happens at Girl's Weekend, stays at Girl's Weekend. Since I apparently feel that it's my duty though to warn the world of certain dangers, I will tell you one part of one girls weekend.

Once upon a time my BGF (best girl friends) and I went to an island off of Seattle. We stayed at a friend's mom's summer home and all was right with the world. Like any good girls weekend an ample supply of wine was brought.

Pre-Wine, but I'm pretty sure there is booze in that bucket.

All was going right in the world, when I went to open a bottle of wine. It was a screw off, so should have been easy to open right? Wrong. I could not open it. I tried. My friends tried. Every.Single.Person tried. Instead of panicking I decided to do the next logical thing and use a wine opener in a metal top.

It worked! I was thrilled.

I then had the problem of a wine bottle with large metal shards sticking out of it. I didn't want to risk loosening the metal shards...what was I to do? Luckily I learned survival techniques from my husband. I found two straws and fashioned an extra long straw. It worked. Just call me MacGyver. It worked quickly, and somehow the whole bottle disappeared in a short order.

Not a great life choice.

So the moral of this story my friends, don't let your friends drink wine out of a bottle with a straw. I "may" have gone swimming in the Sound. I also may have taken a "nap" under the dining room table after trying to "help" make Sushi. I have great friends.

Also, Bug, if you're reading this remember this this story is fake. Definitely fake. I would NEVER do such crazy things.