Sunday Confessions #DearXLove

Sunday Confession is the brainchild of More Than Cheese and Beer.  Everyone is welcome to participate.  You can link your blog or post your confession in the comments section of her Sunday      Confession, or send anonymous confessions to her via Facebook or Twitter (@MKitchenWitch).

Dear A, 

I knew the moment I met you that I wanted to marry you. Of course I was drunk, but still, it has to mean something, right? Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being there for me when I didn't believe in myself, or in anything. You have always been there and have been my biggest cheerleader.

When we met I was not very trusting, and had my crazy moments. You didn't let it phase you, and still you loved me. I tested you, expecting you to turn into an asshole, but still you stayed. You loved me regardless and remained your sweet, amazing self, even when I was being a jerk-face.  

You take time to make me feel special so often and I am so lucky. You listen to my crazy dreams, and believe in me when I don't believe in myself. I don't know what I did to deserve you...to deserve the Bug. Whatever it is, I am so thankful. Thank you for loving me. 

While I don't really like Valentine's Day, I like love. Thank you for showing me what true love means. 

I love you, 

Brooke 

Sunday Confessions #InMyCloset

Sunday Confession is the brainchild of More Than Cheese and Beer.  Everyone is welcome to participate.  You can link your blog or post your confession in the comments section of her Sunday      Confession, or send anonymous confessions to her via Facebook or Twitter (@MKitchenWitch).

When I saw this prompt I thought of ALL the ways I could take this...serious, funny, dark (ha!...because my closet IS dark!) I think I'll just use honesty and talk about something I don't like talking about. 

I'm overweight and not really happy about it. Some days I'm better about following Weight Watchers and staying on track. Other days, well, forget about it....MUST EAT ALL THINGS. I've been doing WW since July and have lost some weight, 27 pounds. I still have about 30 more that I'd like to lose...that I really need to lose. My girlfriends and I are going to Vegas in May. My goal since September has been to lose the weight. In reality I can't believe I stuck with dieting this long. I write about it randomly. Mostly to remind myself to keep going....to keep trying. 

Even when I want to give up. 

So, what does this have to do with my closet? In my closet is a bikini from my early 20's. Keep in mind that I have NEVER worn a bikini, and if I did it was probably a bad life choice. I bought this bikini when I was 22 because it was pretty. It's still pretty. I am 6 feet tall, and have horrible body image. I hates showing that much skin. When I was skinny, I thought I was fat. 

My goal is to wear this bikini, even if it's just in my house, but I want to fit into this bikini and not have love handles, muffin top, etc. 

Someday I am going to wear this bikini...and eat a doughnut while doing it. (Kidding....maybe.) 

Sunday Confessions #insecurities

Sunday Confession is the brainchild of More Than Cheese and Beer.  Everyone is welcome to participate.  You can link your blog or post your confession in the comments section of her Sunday      Confession, or send anonymous confessions to her via Facebook or Twitter (@MKitchenWitch).

       When I saw this weeks #confession, I almost didn't write. I almost skipped it and made up an excuse as to why I wasn't going to write it. You see, I spent most of my life feeling insecure and that caused anxiety a lot. 

     I spent most of my life worrying that people didn't like me, and would go out of my way to do things for them to make sure that they did. THAT was stupid. I still worry, but not as much. I feel like it's hard to list my insecurities and I'm 99% sure if you look up the word my photo should be next to many of the definitions (and it's probably a bad photo.) 

     LUCKILY, I have an amazing husband, and while I always question why HE is with ME, reminds me that I am a good person. I still hate confrontation. I am passive aggressive and I HATE when people fight. You may find that funny, especially since I spent 8 years working with students with emotional/behavioral problems. They helped me to learn to accept confrontation the most and how to deal with fighting. You think that as a teacher, I would teach my students, and I did...and I personally think I was damn good at it (once in awhile.) My students though, taught me the most. That if I was myself (my sarcastic, sarcastic self) and told them how I felt that they liked me more. Honesty is the best policy, right? Between my husband and my students I have grown into a person that I am today. The anxiety monster still hangs out, but he is better behaved. 

     I still worry that people won't like me, and sometimes don't act like myself at first. I worry when I DO act like myself that they don't like me. So, lots of worrying...about everything. It's stupid. I worry that people won't like this blog. I remind myself that I didn't start this for you (but love that you read it.) I started this for myself, as a way to document Bug, life, and everything in between. Also, and it is equally stupid,  but when people "unlike" the FB page I get worried that I did something to piss them off...then I realize that not everyone wants to hear about moose and me rambling. 

     So in the words of Stewart, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." (At least I hope they do!!)

Sunday Confessions #ThingsIDoInTheShower

Sunday Confession is the brainchild of More Than Cheese and Beer.  Everyone is welcome to participate.  You can link your blog or post your confession in the comments section of her Sunday Confession, or send anonymous confessions to her via Facebook or Twitter (@MKitchenWitch).

When I first saw this prompt I thought of a MILLION ways that I could turn this inappropriate or funny. They'd all be lies. Funny/Inappropriate lies, but lies. The second thing I thought of was "Ha, what shower?" Since Bug was born the amount of time that I spend in the shower has been dramatically decreased. I use to sing in the shower. I AM NOT a good singer. Children cry, lemmings jump off cliffs, you get the idea. I still do it, but only when no one is around. I barely have time to think in the shower now, let alone sing.

Take one Bug and add to that our lack of water and you get Navy showers. What's a Navy shower you ask? You hop in the shower and "wet up" and then turn off the water. You scrub all things that you need to scrub. You shampoo your hair, wash your face and you turn the water on and then quickly rinse. 

Perhaps you are new to this blog and are wondering where the hell our water is.... We live in Alaska, and do not have a well, nor do we have city water. We have a holding tank. Once every 2-3 weeks on a Wednesday, Paul comes to our house with his handy-dandy water delivering truck and fills our 1500 gallon tank. Water is 10 cents a gallon, which is cheap, but when you spend $100-$150 on water every two weeks that ads up. 

So, what do I do in the shower? Not much! Every once in a while we need to use up XXX number of gallons of water before the truck comes, and when that happens, I hide in the shower!