When I was a Junior in college I signed up for a class that seemed easy. I got three credits, and a grant paid for them, for tutoring inmates at the county jail. A friend of mine signed up to do this, and went to the prison for our first day.
The Warden took his job very seriously. You would have thought that I was there to sneak a man out in my bag. He went over what we were allowed to talk about and not talk about. When we walked back to the library (where we were tutoring) there were cells on both sides of the hallway. Keep in mind that this was a male prison...I'm 21....and probably the first girl they've seen in months. Talk about feeling loved (kidding.)
We went into the room and got out our supplies. We were going to help the guys get their GED. The guards told us not to put up with any crap, and they were across the hall. It went well. The guys were nice and told hilarious stories. We went every Monday for weeks. During that time the guys all told me what they had done to be in the jail. Most of them had done some form of burglary. One guy, we'll call him Big Ed, would not tell me what he did. I didn't press it.
A few more weeks, and my friend was sick. A few of the other guys were on lock down for mouthing off to the guards, so there was just Big Ed and me. We were working on some basic multiplication when he said, "I guess you really want to know, hu." I was confused as to what he was talking about. I thought he meant the answer to the math problem.
Big Ed: "What I did to get in here."
Me: "Only if you want to tell me."
Big Ed went on to tell me how he was at a bar drinking and ran out of money. He decided it was a good life choice to go in his truck to the nearest ATM. When he got there, he realized he did not have his card to get money out, but he did have a large chain. He took the chain and wrapped it around the machine and drove off with it.
Me: (Holding back tears from biting my cheeks to keep from laughing.) "Oh."
Big Ed: "That's why you don't drink beer out of pitchers."