Sunday Confessions #insecurities

Sunday Confession is the brainchild of More Than Cheese and Beer.  Everyone is welcome to participate.  You can link your blog or post your confession in the comments section of her Sunday      Confession, or send anonymous confessions to her via Facebook or Twitter (@MKitchenWitch).

       When I saw this weeks #confession, I almost didn't write. I almost skipped it and made up an excuse as to why I wasn't going to write it. You see, I spent most of my life feeling insecure and that caused anxiety a lot. 

     I spent most of my life worrying that people didn't like me, and would go out of my way to do things for them to make sure that they did. THAT was stupid. I still worry, but not as much. I feel like it's hard to list my insecurities and I'm 99% sure if you look up the word my photo should be next to many of the definitions (and it's probably a bad photo.) 

     LUCKILY, I have an amazing husband, and while I always question why HE is with ME, reminds me that I am a good person. I still hate confrontation. I am passive aggressive and I HATE when people fight. You may find that funny, especially since I spent 8 years working with students with emotional/behavioral problems. They helped me to learn to accept confrontation the most and how to deal with fighting. You think that as a teacher, I would teach my students, and I did...and I personally think I was damn good at it (once in awhile.) My students though, taught me the most. That if I was myself (my sarcastic, sarcastic self) and told them how I felt that they liked me more. Honesty is the best policy, right? Between my husband and my students I have grown into a person that I am today. The anxiety monster still hangs out, but he is better behaved. 

     I still worry that people won't like me, and sometimes don't act like myself at first. I worry when I DO act like myself that they don't like me. So, lots of worrying...about everything. It's stupid. I worry that people won't like this blog. I remind myself that I didn't start this for you (but love that you read it.) I started this for myself, as a way to document Bug, life, and everything in between. Also, and it is equally stupid,  but when people "unlike" the FB page I get worried that I did something to piss them off...then I realize that not everyone wants to hear about moose and me rambling. 

     So in the words of Stewart, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." (At least I hope they do!!)