Thursday, February 27, 2014

Poopy Flights...

 (I wrote this on the plane last Wednesday....I couldn't connect to the internet to post it....I 'could' go through and change the tense of the post, but no one has time for that!! Pretend. It's fun!)

At some point I know that traveling with El Bug will be easy. 

This morning we woke up to freezing rain, which doesn't help when you need to drive three hours to the airport. My parents and I changed our plan (leave early, eat lunch) to leave with enough time to make it to the airport. Bug's auntie and grandma didn't make it down to say goodbye, the roads were so bad. 

The trip down was uneventful, thank God. We unloaded my 47389 bags, and I made it to the check-in desk with time to spare. For a low fee, I upgraded to first class (after checking to make sure no one would hate me.) That made my bags free, and I could check 3 of them (yay for no carry on.) When I went to pay my credit card was declined. My credit card has NEVER been declined. My wonderful mother (seriously, best mom ever) paid it for me while I called my credit card company. 

Someone had my credit card numbers and was using it at Wal-Mart in North Carolina. Assholes. My credit card company canceled my card, while my mom changed Bugs diaper. He had peed through his diaper and was soaked, so we went through wardrobe change #1. I realized after changing him that I only had one extra set of clothes. The rest were in my carry-on that I checked the whole way through. 

Once we said good bye to the world's best Mimi and Grampy, we went through security, bought a pretzel and an emergency onsie, and made it to our first flight. 

About 20 minutes into it, I felt wet. There was poop EVERYWHERE!!! All over him, all over me. I was mortified. The worlds best flight attendant (Patrick) helped me get back to the bathroom. I took off my shitty clothes, Bug's shitty clothes, and somehow got out in a reasonable amount of time. Wardrobe change #2. Bug sported his fleece snow outfit, and a onsie the rest of the flight. 

I did end up in the bathroom with a guy in a business suit. It was the only way to get past each other. I think he was mortified. I thought it was hilarious. 

The rest of our first flight was fine, the WBFA (World's Best Flight Attendant) Patrick played peek a boo with Bug, and gave us cookies. What's not to love. I gave him a tip, and thanked him profusely as we were leaving. 

We landed in Chicago, and I ran to the only store (I was told) that sold children's clothes. Harley Davidson. For $75.00 I had an extra backup outfit, and Bug had pants again.  I got it big on him, because for that price he is wearing it forever! 

We made it to our gate at boarding. The plane was packed, and I had an aisle seat. Next time, window seats! He likes looking outside, but with no window he likes to look at everyone else. He is cute, and charming, but that only gets you so far. As our plane finished boarding, I realized there was one empty seat on the plane. Next to me!!! Excited doesn't describe it. 

There were a few more poop incidents, but they stayed contained in his diaper. Currently, we are somewhere over Montana (Hi, Denali!) and the Bug is passed out next to me. 

Now for your enjoyment...selfies (in random places, since I am using the blogger app.) 



  1. What? No harley shot? His public needs it.

  2. I remember those days! Traveling with children does not necessarily get easier as they get older, challenges change. Even if you think they are potty trained, it is always a good idea to keep a diaper handy; too much fun = too little time spent thinking about those tinkle feelings! It wasn't until my son was 13 that I finally found it easy to travel with him!