Monday, December 16, 2013

Poopy Day

Based on my morning, here is what I've learned that needs to go into my diaper bag.....

1. Scissors (to cut the excessively poopy outfit off of your baby.)
2. A Match (to burn the outfit after you have it off.)
3. Gas masks and plastic gloves.
4. Hair nets (because poop WILL get in your hair.)
5. A flashlight (ever try cleaning a poopy diaper in the dark? Let's just say that feeling your way around it doesn't quite work!)
6. Three extra outfits. (You think I'm kidding.)
7. Extra socks and Baby Legs because he'll pee on his first pair while you are changing him.
8. 394 extra wipes.
9. A bottle of liquor (for you.)
10. A sense of humor.

Bug managed to poop a massive dump this morning while we were out running some errands. LUCKILY we were near his dad's office so I went there to change him. It was -38 outside.... NEGATIVE!!!

It was C-O-L-D. There were people running!! THERE WASN'T EVEN ANYTHING CHASING THEM!!!! Seriously. I'd have to be loving life and being chased by a bear or a moose to run in -38....


Anyway, we went to dad's office (with dad THANK GOD) and proceeded to attempt to clean up the Bug. POOP EVERYWHERE!! EVERYWHERE. I ran out of wipes. He peed on the floor (and his socks and leggings.) It was a HOT mess!! I am pretty sure we should just burn the outfit. 

I am 99% sure he lost 3 pounds just by pooping! 

We then had to go to the Post Office along with every other person in town. We went to three before I found one I was willing to wait in in at. They only do cash there, and the girl overcharged me by $40.00. I was dumb enough to pay it and leave. Luckily I thought it sounded wrong, so I asked for a receipt. I got back in the car, buckled Bug back into his new big boy car seat (he loves it) and started to drive away. As I did math in my head I realized she was VERY wrong. So back we went and I unloaded him again. The line was SO long at this point and there was no way in hell I was waiting in it. Luckily, everyone in Fairbanks is SO nice (seriously) that no one said a word as I jumped up and asked for my money back (she had realized she was wrong too.) In Seattle, I would have had 39 dirty looks. Ah, Fairbanks. Your city may be !@#$ cold, but your hearts are warm! 

Christmas packages are all mailed, cards sent out (except for the ones the cat ate), and it is a week before Christmas! This is a first for me!! I'm sure I'm forgetting something! 

1 comment:

  1. Yup, I remember those days! Thanks for getting E's card out - I will let you know what she thinks of it :).